I love my husband and I love his passion for spending time with God, but when I hear him talk about finding time for God and the Bible I’m jealous of his availability.
Pastors, who, while busy, are also paid to schedule time for study, write most of the books I read about reading the Bible, prayer, or journaling. I’m not blaming or claiming they are doing anything wrong, but I’m a full-time teacher and a full-time mom, whose day starts at 5:30am and ends when I finally manage to crash onto the bed after bringing my house to a rest.
How can the rest of us ‘non-professional Christians’ have quality time with God when our schedules are dominated by full-time responsibility?
Someone once said, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” If I were judged based on my intentions I would be successful, but the reality is, my intentions to grow and commit more time to God, have fallen short. I struggle, daily, to put God first—probably like many of you—and feel handcuffed by the promises and plans I constantly constrain myself to.
I am the type of person who enjoys cutting grass, because I can instantly see the progress I‘ve made in completing a project. I regularly start new books because of the anticipation and excitement of wondering what lies in the pages. But, I lack follow through.
I’m jealous of people who have control over their daily schedule and can find quiet moments to “get away with God.” My day is literally dictated by bells, and movement, and carpool, and practice times. I wrestle with the idol of agenda and routine.
I confess I’ve never made it through an entire Bible-reading plan, but I do find comfort in this truth—God is less concerned about me “getting it right,” and more concerned about me resting in his “all sufficient grace.” While I pressure myself to become a better person or check-off another agenda item for God, God is interested in me. Simply me. God’s scale for my life is more than my qualifiable and quantifiable do’s and dont’s. His scale takes into account every variable, every emotion, and every ounce of heart and is able to judge as only God can judge- justly and individually. His scale is one that is personal, and custom fit just for me.
The reward lies in the moments when I am able to sneak away. It may be inconsistent at times and interrupted by little voices needing my attention, the phone ringing, or some other unforeseen interruption, but in those moments when I do manage- even if they are brief- to truly seek God, I find again, He’s not waiting to reprimand me, He’s waiting to refresh and replenish what others have stripped from me.
Thank you God, for your “unforced rhythms of grace” (Matthew 11:28-29 MSG)